I think those three syllables would sum up the last four months of my life with absolute precision.
At my re-entry to the blogosphere I am having extreme difficulty in finding a rhythm to my communication, a desire to write and most importantly: subject matter that is as compelling as the stuff I used to talk about... I used to have a lot more fire and conviction... But now I often feel like a gutted trumpet. The thoughts are still there but I haven't the passion to express them. I have allowed myself to become so cynical and pessimistic that I fail to recognize a lot of what I wrote even just a year ago... That is part of breathing I guess.
So, what to tell you about. I'll start with some bullet points:
1. I have been reading almost constantly
A. Some of the books were definitely not worth reading
B. Having an iPad is like having a library in your hand bag. I love this stupid hunk of glass and metal.
2. For about 3 months I worked almost constantly and gave my entire efforts to a cause that is completely and utterly hopeless
A. I lost a lot of valuable hours with my kid
a. I want them back
b. I'm slowly removing myself from the situation.
B. I also became intensely aware of the phrase "can't you"
a. Every time they are uttered, paired with a request to do something completely ridiculous like say, "make 25 more hula skirts the
Night before they are needed". I feel a bit like a certain werewolf from a certain horrible vampire saga I just read.
3. My daughter is getting so big...
4. I started spinning again and it feels good
5. I am taking an impromptu trip home.
A. I am in need of a warm mug of apple cider and the smell of pig shit.
B. I know that after 12 days in Hamilton I will be absolutely convinced of my love for Tokyo
a. There are no patissier shops in Hamilton
b. The food there is awful
c. The cake in America is just sugar with a layer of colorful rubbish on top. Can I survive 2 weeks without good cake?
d. I still want to go...
In conclusion... I think if I worked hard enough I could probably revive some of my blogging mojo. I am tired of looking at the same idiotic knitting project post every time I log in.
Happy Thursday.
キム・ヨナ選手の目と眉の間にキュン
3 years ago
5 comments:
Wow, certainly an impromptu trip since I saw you just over a week ago and there was no mention of it?
I know how you feel though- hence my unplanned impromtu trip back in August.
Hopefully the warm mug of apple cider will be waiting for you......oh, and the pig shit (seriously?!)
You have been so busy these last months- you definitely need the break.
Had to double take when I saw you had updated :D Was wondering where you went. You sound busy and in need of a trip home - apple cider, pig shit and all. Even if the best thing you get out of it is a re-affirmation that you like Tokyo.
Hope your blogging mojo comes back.
Working with small children is hard.Sometimes I feel like I am missing out a bit and wonder if it's worth it. I had to translate every second I could yesterday and Ryu got terribly neglected. He was so excited to see someone other than me that when my English girls arrived at 4pm he crawled round and round in circles, almost barking like a dog.
Bring on the guilts.
Have a good weekend.
Apple cider as in the alcoholic stuff? You can drink that warm? Do tell... I might be able to hook you up!
Glad to hear there's light at the end of the job tunnel. Some things are worth more than money, huh?
And pig shit? Really?
Hahaha. Apple cider in America is like a really thick apple juice with spices...like cinnamon etc. And served warm. Pig shit...farm fertilizer...what have you hehehe. I miss those smells sometimes!
Welcome back Cassie x Sounds like a tough time. Hope you get back into the swing of things soon.
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